Funny and dirty pick up lines

In this post, you are going to discover an entire and huge list of funny and dirty pick up lines to use, you just need to have the right self-confidence and the right body language, otherwise, you will find yourself feeling embarrassed very quickly.

1. Do you like the taste of chicken? We'll then suck on this it tastes foul.
2. May I end this sentence with a proposition?
3. Remember my name. You’ll be screaming it later.
4. Guy: my mom told me to never look at pretty girls because I will turn into a statue! In fact I can feel myself getting hard right now!
5. Do you like lollipops? Because I'll take you to my candy shop.
6. Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
7. Give me a dollar and I'll make you holler.
8. You look good in that shirt, but you would look even better with it off.
9. My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
10. Are those fuck me eyes, or fuck you eyes?
11. If said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
12. Hey, do you like France? So do I! Let's go and French!
13. There’s a snickers in my pants….hungry why wait?
14. It won't be a late night... You’ll be in bed by 7 and home by 11.
15. The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
16. Hey, I'm from the Middle East, and I have a weapon of mass destruction in my pants.
17. I'm like a snow storm; I’ll give you 8 to 10 inches and keep you inside for the whole weekend.
18. How do you like your eggs, poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
19. Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
20. If you jingle my bells I can promise you a white Christmas.
21. What time do your legs open?
22. Baby, I'm like a firefighter, I find them hot and leave them wet!
23. Are we In Alaska because I feel like a sexkimo!
24. You've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across.
25. You know, sex is like golf. It sucks until you finally get the ball in the hole yourself.
26. Nice shoes, want to fuck?
27. I'm a fireman, want to see my hose?
28. Are you a mechanic? Because you should be screwing me.
29. Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw.
30. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.
31. Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
32. Believe it or not, getting laid is still hard when you're this good-looking.
33. I would be honored if I could park my beef bus in tuna town.
34. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! Do you want to do lunch?
35. I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore uranus!
36. Can I put my magic wand in your Harry Potter?
37. That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd becoming too!
38. I just got the shocks changed on my car. Want to try them out?
39. You're on fire. Can I stop drop and roll with you?
40. You’re so hot that even on a cold winter night my penis would stand for you.
41. Around you I'm like a complex word, long and hard.
42. Shall we shag now or shag later?
43. There must be a keg in your pants, because I want to tap that ass.
44. Is your dad a farmer? Because you got some melons.
45. If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?
46. What are you doing tonight? Besides me?
47. Want to play some football? We can both be skins…
48. Hey, how about you sit on my face and let me eat my way to you heart?
49. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
50. The Trojans loved Helen so much they jumped into a horse; i love u so much I want to jump into a Trojan.
51. I wish you were a screen door..... So I can slam you all day long!
52. Are you from Ireland? Because when I look at you my penis is Dublin.
53. So can we hang out with my wang out or what?
54. You know, I've got the f, the c and the k, so all I need is you
55. Hi, I’m peter pants-less. Want to go to never-never land?
56. You're a pile of leaves... I want to jump right in!
57. Hey baby can you please calm my monster down.
58. Guy: Are you Ketchup? Girl: No, Why? Guy: Because I’m mustard, we should get together on a weiner.
59. I'm like Budweiser, always fills you up never lets you down.
60. Hey baby, you must be a light switch, because every time I see you, you turn me on!
61. You want to go skinny dipping... in my water bed?
62. Hey baby, you've got something on your butt, my eyes!
63. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
64. I want to be pooh so I can stick my nose in your honey.
65. Want to play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
66. You're like a light switch... you turn me on.
67. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you have a nice set of buns.
68. Do you have a gynecologist... because I just got my degree.
69. Do you know what would look good on you? Me.
70. Will you sleep with me tonight? Because I'm afraid of the dark.
71. All I want is peace and quiet, give me a piece and I'll be quiet.
72. Were you born on a farm? Because you really know how to raise a cock!
73. You must be my new boss because you just gave me a raise.
74. Girl, you're like a pickup truck. It takes more than one load to get the job done.
75. Girl, I would love to lick your belly button......from the inside!
76. Do you want to be my kangaroo so we can hop all night?
77. Are those space pants you're wearing? Because your ass is out of this world.
78. Just like a tootsie roll pop, I'd liked to find out how many licks it takes to get to your center.
79. Ever stuck a hot dog in a donut? Do you want to?
80. If I was a skateboard I would grind you all night.
81. I'm good at math U+I=69.
82. Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose now take off your clothes.
83. Excuse me, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
84. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
85. Are you a cupcake? Because you probably taste really sweet!
86. I have a math equation for you. You + me + whipped cream = a good idea.
87. Do you like to party? Then crawl up my leg and have a ball!
88. I'm a French fry and you're ketchup. Can I get in you?
89. Nike took my motto: Just Do It.
90. Do you know the difference between a Quarter Pounder with cheese and a blowjob? Well then, let me take you out to lunch.
91. I just made my bed. Do you want to help me mess it up again?
92. I got the F-C-K. All I need is U.
93. Do you want to go to my stable? Why? So you can ride my pony!
94. I wish I were a burger, so I can get between those buns.
95. I can't make a cherry pop, but I can make a banana cream.
96. I'm Irish, want to taste my lucky charms?
97. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under
98. Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
99. Tickle your pussy with a feather? What? I said, particularly nice weather.
100. I do floors, doors, windows, and you.
101. Do you like Backstreet Boys? Good, because my penis is larger than life.
102. Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, fuck it.
103. Your eyes are like wrenches..... they make my nuts tighten.
104. Baby, I want to strap you on like a feedbag. One leg over each ear!
105. Are you with the Cingular plan? Because you got my bar raised!
106. I'm learning about sex in biology...want to experiment?
107. I'm not very good at my hobby. What's your hobby? Keeping it in my pants.
108. You are what you eat, and tonight I want to be you.
109. Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
110. Can I use your thighs as earmuffs??
111. I’m tired. You’re tired. Let’s sleep together!
112. I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle....I’ll give you a dime if you take your time.
113. Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
114. Hey, want to play house. I could be the door and you could slam me all night long.
115. You make me want to have an affair.
116. If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?
117. I taste like candy. If you don't believe me why don't you try some?
118. Hi, I'm a birdwatcher and I'm looking for a Big-Breasted Bed thrasher, do you know where I can find one?
119. Girl, you’re like a cream puff...hard to get into... but once you do it’s like a dream...silky and smooth.
120. I've got a fire in my pants and you're the only one who can put it out.
121. Do you come here often? Because I'm about to come here right now.
122. Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
123. I was just wondering could those lips pull a ten pound vacuum on an onion sack?
124. Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't that Elvis over there?
125. There's a little man in my pants and he wants to meet you.
126. What's a slut like you doing in a high class place like this?
127. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
128. Do you give head to strangers? No. Well let me introduce myself.
129. There's a little man in my pants and he would really like you to pet him.
130. Do you want to be like my speedo and hug my balls?

If you have other funny and dirty pick up lines, please post them in the comment section below, I'd be more than glad to add them to this list.