Mean pick up lines

These mean pick up lines you are going to find in this post are hurtful, stupid, and unnecessary, yet sometimes they can be extremely funny and fun! If you have more mean pick up lines, please share them in the comment section below, I'll be more than happy to include them in this list.

1. Hey cutie! Do you like Adele? Cause I can tell you wanna be rolling in the D.
2. Hey darling! If you're feeling down, I can fill you up.
3. You're like my own personal brand of heroin sweetie.
4. Hey yo! Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.
5. I'm peanut butter sweetheart, you're jelly, let's have sex.
6. Hi, I'm gay baby. Do you think you can convert me?
7. Hey wussup! I have a job for you, but it blows!
8. Hey there! Are you a termite? Cause you're about to have a mouth full of wood.
9. Hey darling! Nice tits. Mind if I squeeze them?
10. First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips baby, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
11. Hey wussup! Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
12. Excuse mmmmm, I just shit in my pants. Can I get in yours?
13. friend?
14. Hey there! This may seem corny, but you make me really horny.
15. Hey yo! That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
16. Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood baby?
17. Hey! Are you hungry? Cause omelette you suck this d*ck.
18. Hey there! Baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
19. I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear sweetheart, is that true?. No. Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast!
20. Do you like to dance sweetie? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your
21. Let us let only latex stand between our love baby.
22. Hey there! What are you doing? I'm taking off my shoes. Why? So I can take off my pants.
23. Hey you! Are you gay? No Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
24. Do you like jalapeños sweetie? Cause in a minute I'll be jalapeño pussy.
25. Are you from the ghetto honey? Cause I'm about to ghetto hold of dat ass.
26. Hey there! There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
27. Do you come here often or wait till you get home baby?
28. Do you run track honey? Cause I heard you Relay want this d*ck.
29. Hey darling! Do you sleep on your stomach? No Can I?
30. Hey darling! Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
31. Will you be my girlfriend sweetie? I left out the 'd' cause you'll get that later!
32. Do you like jewels honey? Yes/No well, suck my d*ck, it's a gem.
33. Hey! I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
34. Hey! Hold out two fingers and say: Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers? I don't know. 'Cause they're mine sweetheart.
35. What can I do to make you sleep with me baby?
36. Hey! Are you jewish? Cause the way you're looking at me, I'm beginning to think Jewish this d*ck was in your mouth.
37. If I washed my d*ck honey, would you suck it? No Oh, so you like to suck dirty d*cks.
38. Hey yo! Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
39. Hey! Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
40. Hi baby. You'll do.
41. Hey yo! What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
42. Hey! We're out of bleach. Do you want to go in the janitor's closet and make out?
43. Hey darling! What's the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don't have a Ferrari.
44. Hey! Nice f**king weather. Want to?
45. Hey there! You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
46. I want to floss with your pubic hair.
47. I had a wet dream about you last night sweetie. Would you like to make it a reality?
48. Flex To the gun show sweetie!
49. I'm no weather man sweetie, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
50. If we were both squirrels sweetie, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
51. Hey cutie! I'm with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.
52. Hey! Why pay for a bra, when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free?
53. Hey darling! Are you the lottery lady on TV, because I'm picturing you holding up my balls.
54. Are you from Africa honey? Cause I wanna know Kenya suck this d*ck?
55. Hey wussup! Do you like Pizza Hut? Cause I'll stuff your crust.
56. Hey! The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
57. Do you know your ABC's baby? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.
58. I'm a freelance gynecologist sweetie. How long has it been since your last checkup?
59. Hey darling! Let’s play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
60. Do you like Wendy's honey? Cause you're gonna love Wendy's nuts slap yo face!
61. Hey cutie! Are you a witch? Cause you know how to make something stand without even touching it
62. Hey darling! If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
63. Hey yo! I only have 12 hours to live... please don't let me die a virgin.
64. Hey! I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
65. Hey there! I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine!
66. Hey there! I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help...
67. Champaign can be tickly honey, and so can I.
68. You remind me of the movie Scarface baby because I want you to say hello to my little friend.
69. Hey cutie! Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.
70. Hey darling! Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.
71. Hey darling! With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren and conquer the earth!
72. Hey yo! Nice shoes, wanna f**k?
73. Hey there! I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
74. Hey there! How about you be my story and I'll be your climax!
75. Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
76. Hey! My name's your name. Just so you know what to scream.
77. Hey cutie! Do you take Visa?
78. My name isn't Elmo sweetie, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
79. Walk into her chest If they weren't sooo large sweetie, it wouldn't have happened!
80. Hey! Do you like apples? Yes/No How about I take you home and f**k the sh*t out of you. How do like them apples?
81. Oh, you're a bird watcher. Pull out your dong Well sweetie, would you take this for a swallow?
82. Hey there! You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
83. Want to go on an 'ate' with me honey? I'll give you the 'D' later.
84. My d*ck just died baby. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
85. Hey you! I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.
86. Hey there! Don't ever change. Just get naked.
87. Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore baby - my face should be among them.
88. I'm a writer, you're a writer baby, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
89. My name is Skittles baby... wanna taste my rainbow?
90. I have a big headache sweetie. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
91. Hey! The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
92. Could you do me a favor baby? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
93. Hey! I hope you like dragons, because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
94. Hey wussup! Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
95. I last longer than a white crayon honey.
96. Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited sweetie!
97. Do you have a mirror in your pocket sweetie? Why? Because I can see myself in your pants.
98. Hey wussup! Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
99. Hey cutie! Do you believe in free love? No Then how much do you cost?
100. I have only three months to live baby.
101. Hey there! Do you like cherries? No. Ok, can I have yours?
102. Hey darling! Let’s play Titanic. When I say Iceburg! you do down.
103. Hey you! Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
104. Hey darling! Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
105. Hey yo! Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
106. That's a nice shirt honey. Can I talk you out of it?
107. Hey! How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?
108. Hey there! You are the reason that god invented boners.
109. Hey there! Do you like whales? Cause we can go hump back at my place.
110. Hey wussup! With great penis, comes great responsibility.
111. Hey darling! What's the speed limit of sex? what? 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
112. Excuse you, but do you give head to strangers? No Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
113. Hey darling! Are those jeans Guess? Cause guess who wants to be inside them...
114. If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart. I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna f**k you sweetie.
115. Are you a virgin honey? No Prove it!
116. Hey cutie! Do you like pudding? Cause I'll be pudding this d*ck in your ass.
117. Hey there! I'd look good on you
118. Hey darling! Is your name Dora? Cause I'll let you explore this d*ck.
119. Hey! Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?
120. I'm the finger down your spine when all the lights go out baby.
121. Hey yo! Let's play carpenter. First we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
122. Hey you! Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's in your bra?
123. Hey there! If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
124. Hey you! Do you like my belt buckle? any response is okay It would look better against your forehead!
125. Hey cutie! I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
126. Hey! There are so many things you can do with the human mouth... why waste it on talking?
127. Hey you! Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
128. Hey! I'm like a firefighter, I find 'em hot and leave 'em wet!
129. Hey cutie! What are you doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
130. I may not go down in history sweetie, but I'll go down on you.
131. Are your legs made of Nutella sweetie? Because I'd love to spread them!
132. Hey darling! There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
133. Hey cutie! You should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand.
134. You are so selfish sweetheart! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
135. Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.
136. Hey darling! F**k me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
137. Do you want to do something that rhymes with 'Truck'?
138. Hey wussup! Want to spend the night at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do.
139. Hey sweetheart! So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
140. Hey you! Damn girl I'd love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face.
141. Hey cutie! I'm easy. Are you?
142. Roses are red, violets are blue sweetie, I suck at pick up lines... nice tits.
143. You smell sweetie... We should go take a shower together.
144. Hey, wanna play lion? You go kneel down right there and I'll throw you my meat.
145. Hey cutie! I'm lost, take me home with you.
146. Hey, I'll f**k you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
147. Since we've been told to reduce waste these days baby, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
148. Hey sweetheart! I lost my number can I have yours.
149. Is that a keg in your pants sweetheart? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
150. Hey cutie! Does your ass have Allstate insurance? No, why? Well do you want it to be in good hands?
151. Hey cutie! Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good.
152. Hey! Do you wanna see why my nickname is 'tri-pod'?
153. Hey you! If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
154. Hey cutie! You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
155. Hey you! Look down at your crotch It's not just going to suck itself.
156. Hey! That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
157. Smile sweetie. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
158. Hey darling! You remind me of a crop, because I wanna plow you.
159. Do you have a phone in your back pocket baby? Because your booty is calling me.
160. I want to put my thingy into your thingy.
161. You have some nice jewelry baby. It would look great on my nightstand.
162. Are you a drill sergeant honey? Because you have my privates standing at attention.
163. Hey there! I'm like a Rubik's Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!
164. So, come back to my place honey, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
165. Hey cutie! Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
166. Hey cutie! Do you know the difference between my d*ck and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
167. Hey sweetheart! If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?
168. Hey darling! Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
169. As long as I have a face honey, you'll have a place to sit.
170. If I was a watermelon baby, would you spit or swallow my seed?
171. Hey yo! Do you work at the wood store? Cause I could've sworn you gave me wood before.
172. Hey there! Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? No Wink.
173. Hey! Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? Yes. In that case, mind if I check your oil level?
174. Hey, you wanna do a 68 baby? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
175. Are you from Ireland baby? 'Cuz my d*ck's-a-Dublin!
176. Would you like to try an Australian kiss baby? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
177. Hey! Do you like Ramen Noodles? Cuz I'll be Rammin' my noodle in you later.
178. Hey there! Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
179. You're just like my little toe baby, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
180. Hey yo! Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
181. Hey! I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
182. Hey there! You're so hot, even my pants are falling for you!
183. Hey you! Are you from the Philippines? Because I wanna phil you with my penis.
184. How much will $20 get me honey?
185. Hey! Are you from Iraq? 'Cause I like the way you Baghdad ass up.
186. Hey cutie! We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and f**k.
187. Hey yo! I'm a burglar and I'm going to smash your backdoor in.
188. Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy sweetie? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
189. Hey! All those curves, and me with no brakes.
190. Hey wussup! I'm hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?
191. Hey! Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
192. Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains baby?
193. Hey wussup! I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what you say we tie up for the night?
194. What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk sweetie? My zipper.
195. Hey darling! Do you like to draw? Cause I put the D in Raw.
196. Hey you! I'm not Asian but I'll still eat your cat.
197. Hi sweetheart. Are you legal?
198. Hey! Damn, are you my new boss, because you just gave me a raise.
199. Hey wussup! You bring a whole new meaning to the word, edible.
200. Hey! Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
201. Hey darling! I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
202. Hey darling! Do you believe guys think with their d*ck? Yeah. Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
203. Hey cutie! Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
204. Hey wussup! That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
205. Hey! Are those pants on sale? Cause they're 100% off at my place!
206. If I told you I had a 2 inch d*ck would you f**k me baby? No Good, because mine is 8 inches.
207. Hey there! I'm bigger and better than the Titantic - only 200 women went down on that vessel!
208. Hey yo! We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I'll poke you.
209. Hey wussup! let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you all night long!
210. Which is easier sweetie? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
211. Hey wussup! Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!
212. I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
213. Are you an archaeologist baby? Because I've got a bone for you to examine.
214. Would you like a hotdog to go with those buns honey?
215. Hey yo! Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
216. Hey yo! Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
217. Hey cutie! You're so hot you could make a deceased man's d*ck rise from the dead!
218. Hey yo! If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
219. Hey! I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just f**k.
220. Hey! I have a rare disease that will kill me unless I have sex within the next 30 minutes. Don't let me die!
221. Hey there! Those pants are very becoming on you but if I was on you I'd be cumming to.
222. Do you live on a chicken farm baby? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.
223. Hey darling! If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants.
224. Hey wussup! Are you a parking ticket? What? You got fine written all over you.
225. Hey cutie! The things I would do if I got a few roofies in you.
226. Hey wussup! Are you a doctor? cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction.
227. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k baby? No What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
228. Hey there! Do you eat lots of Lucky Charms? Because you look magically delicious.
229. Do you work for UPS honey? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
230. You have been very naughty baby. Go to my room!
231. Hi, wanna f**k? No Mind lying down while I do sweetie?
232. Hey cutie! I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex. Can you help me?
233. Hey! Wanna play war honey? I'll lay on the ground and you blow the f**k outta me!
234. Hey wussup! Are you from China? Cause I'm China get in your pants.
235. Hey cutie! Do you like soda? Because I'd mount-and-do you. Mountain Dew
236. Miss, If you've lost your virginity sweetie, can I have the box it came in?
237. Do you want to have my children? No OK, can we just practice then?
238. Do you have the time? Yes, do you have the energy?
239. Hey yo! I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in.
240. Are those lumberjack pants your wearing honey? They are giving me a wood.
241. Hey wussup! Can I read your t-shirt in braille?
242. Hey sweetheart! I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
243. Hey darling! Life is short. Let's f**k and see if there is anything after that.
244. Hey you! Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
245. Hey sweetheart! I have the entire dictionary written on my d*ck. Want me to put some words in your mouth??
246. Let's make like a Fabric softener and Snuggle baby.
247. I don't know you sweetie, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?
248. There are 206 bones in the human body baby. How would you like one more?
249. Hey you! Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
250. Hey yo! I love my bed but I'd rather be in yours.
251. Hey! Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
252. Hey you! Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
253. Hey wussup! Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
254. Hey yo! I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.
255. I must expel some seminal fluid baby. May I use your body?
256. Hey there! I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
257. Hey there! I bet my tongue can beat up your tongue.
258. Hey there! At the office copy machine Reproducing eh? Can I help?
259. Hey yo! The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to f**k you on the floor.
260. Hey wussup! This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
261. Do you need a stud in your life sweetie? Cause I got the STD and all I need is U.
262. Hey darling! I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
263. Hey you! Hold up a screw Wanna screw?
264. Yeah, it's big and if you pet it honey, it spits
265. I want to melt in your mouth sweetie, not in your hand.
266. Hey there! If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK'
267. Hey darling! If I followed you home, would you keep me?
268. Hey there! What do you like for breakfast?
269. If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me baby? No Well, I don't, so let's go.
270. Hey wussup! That’s a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
271. You know what I like in a girl honey? My d*ck.
272. Is your name winter baby? Because you'll be coming soon.
273. Excuse me honey, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
274. Give the person a bottle of wine or tequila Drink this honey, and then call me when you're ready.
275. I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate honey.
276. Do you like yoga? Cause Yo gonna love this d*ck.
277. Hey darling! They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
278. Are you spaghetti honey because I want you to meat my balls.
279. Do you have a shovel honey? Cause I'm diggin' that ass!
280. Hey! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
281. Want to play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
282. Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?
283. Hey there! Excuse me, but do you have tickets? Tickets for what? Point to arm and
284. Hey! You can call me cake, cause I'll go straight to your ass.
285. Hey sweetheart! I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
286. We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows honey... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
287. Hey yo! Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
288. Hey you! Do you work for Papa Johns? Cause you're a fine pizza ass.
289. Use index finger to call someone over then say I made you come with one finger baby, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
290. Hey yo! Do you like tapes and CD's? Cause I'm gonna tape this d*ck to your forehead so you CD's nuts.
291. Hey! My d*ck's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
292. Brrr! My hands are cold baby. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
293. Hey there! If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
294. Hey you! You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.
295. Hey darling! I think it's time I tell you what people are saying behind your back... Nice ass!
296. Hey! Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
297. Hey, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.
298. Can I be the wiener in your hotdog honey?
299. I'm afraid of the dark baby... Will you sleep with me tonight?
300. Want to make a porno sweetheart? We don't have to tape it.
301. Hey cutie! I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
302. Hey! Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
303. Hey you! Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you're giving me a serious bone condition
304. Hey yo! Go up to a girl, ask her: Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? She says no. Then wink.
305. Hey sweetheart! Is it hot in here, or are your boobs just huge.
306. You smell like trash sweetheart. May I take you out?
307. Hey sweetheart! I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
308. Do you mix concrete for a living honey? Because you're making me hard.
309. Hey there! I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
310. Hey darling! Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
311. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears sweetie? Pull your pockets inside out Would you like to?
312. So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
313. Hey there! I wish you were a screen door, so I could slam you all day long!