Very dirty pick up lines

If you are looking for some very dirty jokes and pick up lines to use, then, you've come to the right post, I will give you a huge collection, but first, you must understand that you need to have strong self-confidence in order to use these dirty pick up lines, otherwise, you will find yourself feeling terribly awkward!

1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
2. I wish I were a burger, so I can get between those buns.
3. Nike took my motto: Just Do It.
4. I'm a fireman, want to see my hose?
5. Hey baby can you please calm my monster down.
6. Hey, do you like France? So do I! Let's go and French!
7. Can I put my magic wand in your Harry Potter?
8. You make me want to have an affair.
9. Are those fuck me eyes, or fuck you eyes?
10. You've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across.
11. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
12. Baby, I want to strap you on like a feedbag. One leg over each ear!
13. Hey, want to play house. I could be the door and you could slam me all night long.
14. I can't make a cherry pop, but I can make a banana cream.
15. Do you want to go to my stable? Why? So you can ride my pony!
16. Do you like the taste of chicken? We'll then suck on this it tastes foul.
17. Guy: my mom told me to never look at pretty girls because I will turn into a statue! In fact I can feel myself getting hard right now!
18. Nice shoes, want to fuck?
19. Can I use your thighs as earmuffs??
20. I have a math equation for you. You + me + whipped cream = a good idea.
21. What time do your legs open?
22. I'm not very good at my hobby. What's your hobby? Keeping it in my pants.
23. Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose now take off your clothes.
24. What's a slut like you doing in a high class place like this?
25. Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
26. Is your dad a farmer? Because you got some melons.
27. Do you give head to strangers? No. Well let me introduce myself.
28. May I end this sentence with a proposition?
29. I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle....I’ll give you a dime if you take your time.
30. Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
31. Tickle your pussy with a feather? What? I said, particularly nice weather.
32. Are you a cupcake? Because you probably taste really sweet!
33. Girl, you’re like a cream puff...hard to get into... but once you do it’s like a dream...silky and smooth.
34. I wish you were a screen door..... So I can slam you all day long!
35. Around you I'm like a complex word, long and hard.
36. Believe it or not, getting laid is still hard when you're this good-looking.
37. Do you have a gynecologist... because I just got my degree.
38. Hey baby, you've got something on your butt, my eyes!
39. If said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
40. I would be honored if I could park my beef bus in tuna town.
41. It won't be a late night... You’ll be in bed by 7 and home by 11.
42. My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
43. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
44. You want to go skinny dipping... in my water bed?
45. Are you from Ireland? Because when I look at you my penis is Dublin.
46. Will you sleep with me tonight? Because I'm afraid of the dark.
47. Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't that Elvis over there?
48. I'm a French fry and you're ketchup. Can I get in you?
49. Give me a dollar and I'll make you holler.
50. Shall we shag now or shag later?
51. I’m tired. You’re tired. Let’s sleep together!
52. I want to be pooh so I can stick my nose in your honey.
53. Are we In Alaska because I feel like a sexkimo!
54. I've got a fire in my pants and you're the only one who can put it out.
55. I just made my bed. Do you want to help me mess it up again?
56. There's a little man in my pants and he would really like you to pet him.
57. Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
58. There's a little man in my pants and he wants to meet you.
59. I'm like Budweiser, always fills you up never lets you down.
60. I'm like a snow storm; I’ll give you 8 to 10 inches and keep you inside for the whole weekend.
61. Hey, how about you sit on my face and let me eat my way to you heart?
62. Girl, you're like a pickup truck. It takes more than one load to get the job done.
63. The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
64. I taste like candy. If you don't believe me why don't you try some?
65. I just got the shocks changed on my car. Want to try them out?
66. There’s a snickers in my pants….hungry why wait?
67. You are what you eat, and tonight I want to be you.
68. Girl, I would love to lick your belly button......from the inside!
69. If you jingle my bells I can promise you a white Christmas.
70. Hey baby, you must be a light switch, because every time I see you, you turn me on!
71. If I was a skateboard I would grind you all night.
72. Hi, I'm a birdwatcher and I'm looking for a Big-Breasted Bed thrasher, do you know where I can find one?
73. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
74. So can we hang out with my wang out or what?
75. Do you like Backstreet Boys? Good, because my penis is larger than life.
76. Do you want to be like my speedo and hug my balls?
77. I'm Irish, want to taste my lucky charms?
78. There must be a keg in your pants, because I want to tap that ass.
79. Do you want to be my kangaroo so we can hop all night?
80. Are you with the Cingular plan? Because you got my bar raised!
81. You know, sex is like golf. It sucks until you finally get the ball in the hole yourself.
82. I was just wondering could those lips pull a ten pound vacuum on an onion sack?
83. You’re so hot that even on a cold winter night my penis would stand for you.
84. Want to play some football? We can both be skins…
85. Do you come here often? Because I'm about to come here right now.
86. Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, fuck it.
87. Do you know what would look good on you? Me.
88. I'm learning about sex in biology...want to experiment?
89. All I want is peace and quiet, give me a piece and I'll be quiet.
90. Are those space pants you're wearing? Because your ass is out of this world.
91. Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
92. Excuse me, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
93. Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
94. Remember my name. You’ll be screaming it later.
95. Ever stuck a hot dog in a donut? Do you want to?
96. That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd becoming too!
97. I got the F-C-K. All I need is U.
98. How do you like your eggs, poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
99. You look good in that shirt, but you would look even better with it off.
100. Do you like to party? Then crawl up my leg and have a ball!
101. Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
102. Hi, I’m peter pants-less. Want to go to never-never land?
103. You must be my new boss because you just gave me a raise.
104. Are you a mechanic? Because you should be screwing me.
105. If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?
106. You know, I've got the f, the c and the k, so all I need is you
107. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you have a nice set of buns.
108. If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?
109. I'm good at math U+I=69.
110. Hey, I'm from the Middle East, and I have a weapon of mass destruction in my pants.
111. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under
112. You're a pile of leaves... I want to jump right in!
113. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! Do you want to do lunch?
114. Want to play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
115. Do you like lollipops? Because I'll take you to my candy shop.
116. You're like a light switch... you turn me on.
117. Guy: Are you Ketchup? Girl: No, Why? Guy: Because I’m mustard, we should get together on a weiner.
118. Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw.
119. I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore uranus!
120. Your eyes are like wrenches..... they make my nuts tighten.
121. Just like a tootsie roll pop, I'd liked to find out how many licks it takes to get to your center.
122. Baby, I'm like a firefighter, I find them hot and leave them wet!
123. I do floors, doors, windows, and you.
124. Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
125. Do you know the difference between a Quarter Pounder with cheese and a blowjob? Well then, let me take you out to lunch.
126. What are you doing tonight? Besides me?
127. Were you born on a farm? Because you really know how to raise a cock!
128. You're on fire. Can I stop drop and roll with you?
129. The Trojans loved Helen so much they jumped into a horse; i love u so much I want to jump into a Trojan.
130. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.