Dirty pick up lines for men to use on women

The following dirty pick up lines for men are designed to be used on women, especially hot ones, but first, you need to have a strong self-confidence and body language to make them work for you.

1. If I was a robot and you were one too, If I lost a bolt would you give me a screw?
2. After sex: Damn girl, you're like those Indy cars... You can burn 4 rubbers at once!
3. You might not be a Bulls fan... But I know you felt it when this D Rose.
4. Well spread my cheeks and call me ‘cell bitch;’ you’re prettier than anyone I ever met in the joint!
5. Those boobs look very heavy... can I hold them for you?
6. Want to play TV? I'll play with your knobs while you watch my antenna rise.
7. Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say Are you going to eat that?
8. Let’s play titanic you'll be the ocean and I’ll go down on you
9. Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
10. Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
11. Yeah. I'm an asshole, but will that stop me from getting in yours?
12. Guess what?! I've got an 8 tongue and I can breathe out of my ears!
13. Why do I have a pierced tongue? You'll soon find out.
14. I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
15. Do you live on a Chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise c*ck!!
16. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
17. Can you suck a golf ball through 50ft. of garden hose?
18. So, you're not into casual sex? Fine, I'll put on a tux and we can call it formal sex.
19. Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.
20. The names Dick, can I put it in you?
21. Your Ass Looks Nice, does it need servicing cause I got a wrench and some screws just for you.
22. I'm studying to be a Taxidermist. Can I practice stuffing your pussy?
23. The word of the day is legs; why don't you come to my house and spread the word.
24. That dress would look great on my bedroom floor!
25. I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south?
26. There must be a keg in your pants, because I want to tap that ass.
27. Let's play breathalyzer! You blow me as hard as you can, and I will tell you how drunk you are!
28. I’m a businessman. I work in orifices, got any openings?
29. Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one? If yes: Want another one?
30. I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on you.
31. I wish I were Winnie the Pooh so I could stick my nose in your honey jar.
32. If I were a carpenter and you were a porch. I'd take out all your nails and screw you!
33. Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a taste?
34. You’re so hot I could roast my meat on you, baby.
35. I hope you have a sewing machine, cause I’m going to tear dat ass up
36. Do you like Jalapenos? Because in a minute I’m going to be jalapeno pussy.
37. Is it your birthday? Because icing isn't the only thing I'll be smearing all over face your face tonight.
38. Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?
39. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
40. Do you need a medic? Cause my dick is hard for you
41. Do you handle chickens because you look like you'd be good with cocks
42. As long as you need a place to sit, you'll always have my face.
43. Why pay $5 when you can't get this footling for free
44. Want to go on and eat with me? I'll give you the D later.
45. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
46. Babe, are you an elevator? Because i want to go down on you.
47. I heard you got a boyfriend, but girl don't try & pretend, like you don't want this dick all the way in.
48. There are so many things you can do with the mouth why waste it on talking?
49. I'm not a dick in real life, but I'll play one in your vagina tonight!
50. I'm no rooster, but watch what this cock-a-do-to-you
51. Approach a group of women: I'm going to have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who's first?
52. I’m an interior decorator. I can fill your interior; I see something big and pink.
53. Do you know Phillis Brown? Because in a minute you going to phil-this brown dick
54. I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
55. I heard your grades are bad.....I'm sure this D won't hurt.
56. I could hear your c*ck talking and it just told me to blow you.... a kiss!
57. If having lunch is like having sex, could I have lunch with you?
58. Want to play 68? You do me and I owe you one!
59. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? Pull your pockets inside out would you like to?
60. Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
61. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
62. A tall man to a short woman: You're the perfect height for what I want.
63. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
64. Hump is the subject today; would it be a noun or a verb when you put it on me?
65. Hi! Can I stir your drink, mind if i use my dick?
66. Some men go around telling women they have an eight inch penis; I’d never shortchange myself like that!
67. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go f***.
68. Do you like chocolate, cause you’re going to choke alot on this dick
69. Are you cold? Would you like a jacket? Because you can jack it when we get back to my place
70. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.
71. I'd hide every chair in the world just so you'd have to sit on my face.
72. Is Pussy Lips one word? Cause I'm going to spread them tonight
73. Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sun glasses, one leg over each ear.
74. Nice legs...what time do they open?
75. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
76. What's the biggest moving muscle in a woman’s body? My cock!
77. Let’s play circus, first sit on my face I’ll guess your weight and I’ll eat the difference.
78. What if I start this relationship with you as a frien. Will you allow me to give you the 'D' later?
79. I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream.
80. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
81. Do you like warm weather? Cause I'm going to put my warm balls on your face weather you like it or not
82. Love is four letters so is what me and you should do other person: what’s that? F*CK
83. Want to play train? I can sit on your face and you can CHEW CHEW.
84. Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
85. Do you like yoga? Because you’re going to love this dick
86. So, what are the chances of my balls slapping' your ass tonight?
87. Who's your friend?
88. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
89. Looks don't matter; I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.
90. Want to play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!
91. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
92. Are you a termite? Cause you're about to have a mouth full of wood.
93. Want to Job? It Blows!
94. How about later tonight, you let me slip into something a little more comfortable... Like your vagina.
95. I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
96. Do you like to draw? Yeah why? Cause I put the D in Raw
97. Do you like Adele? Because I can tell you want to be rolling in the D.
98. Wow! Are those real?
99. Hey baby, I'm kind of cold, Can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
100. I bet you $40 you're going to turn me down.
101. You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
102. Do you like Sea World, because you’re about to be in my splash zone
103. You run track? Because I heard you relay want this dick.
104. This Dick a rental car company.....It Hertz
105. How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut!
106. Girl, you make me want to dive in the sea..... dat pus-sea.
107. Are you going to that funeral? What Funeral The one where MY BALLZ drop dead in your mouth
108. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?
109. You want to play circus? You roar and I'll throw you the meat!
110. Hey baby, want to play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
111. I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?
112. You can call me The Fireman....mainly because I turn the hoes on!
113. Do you like duck meat? Then duck down here and get some meat.
114. Want to play Pearl Harbor? It’s a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.
115. I forgot my blow job at your house; can i come over and get it?
116. Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
117. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
118. Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
119. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
120. Do you have a boyfriend? Yes. Do you mess around? No. Would you hold still while I do?
121. Hey good looking', whatcha got cooking'? Nothing could be finer than the taste of your vagina!
122. Hi, do you believe in one night stands?
123. I'm going to have sex with you later, so you might as well be there!
124. I'm a zombie, can I eat you out?
125. Having sex is a lot like golf. I’m always happy when I get a hole in one.
126. Can you lick your nipples? No. Can I? Can you show me?
127. Do you like Imagine Dragons? Well Imagine Dragon my balls across your face.
128. Hey...did I mention I go down like a ship?
129. Your ass is pretty tight; want me to loosen it up?
130. F*** playing doctor do you want to play gynecologist??
131. I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.
132. Are you a flight attendant? Because you are going to be plane with this dick soon.
133. I would tell you a joke about my penis....but it’s too long ;
134. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
135. I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.
136. Look down at your crotch: it’s not just going to suck itself.
137. What winks and f***s like a tiger? Wink
138. My cat's dead, can I play with your pussy instead?
139. Beauty is only skin deep; a huge cock goes much deeper.
140. Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a weiner stand.
141. Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.
142. I'm going to make you breakfast...Omelet you suck this dick.
143. I call my dick the truth because bitches can't handle it
144. I've got a big one; you want to see how hard it works?
145. Hey baby, will you be my love buffet so I can lay you on the table and take what I want?
146. Roses are red, pickles are green, I like your legs and what's in between!
147. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
148. Looking at a girl’s ass: Where does this bus go anyway?
149. You need something to shut that big mouth of yours!
150. You Need Directions? Well first you got to take this D-tour.
151. You must work at Subway, because you just gave me a footlong.
152. True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.
153. My name's Pogo, do you want to jump on my stick?
154. Let's play house, you be the door and I'll slam you all night long!
155. Hey, is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd sure love to tap THAT ass!
156. I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
157. Are you a lumberjack? Because you just gave me wood!
158. I'm having a party at your ankles... should I invite your pants down?
159. Have this flower before I take yours
160. Are you a doctor? Cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction.
161. Hey do you want to sit on my lap and see what pops up!
162. You know what cums after C....The D!
163. If you were a washing machine, I would put my dirty load inside you.
164. Do you like tapes and CDs? I guess Good, because I’m going to tape this dick to your forehead so you CDs nuts
165. Hi, I'm bisexual. I'd like to BUY you a drink...and then get sexual
166. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
167. You see my friend over there? Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute
168. Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
169. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
170. First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
171. My penis is like a dictionary; want me to blow your mind?
172. My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
173. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
174. My Cock Is Like Pizza Hut, If You Don't Eat It All, You Can Pack It Up And Finish It Off At Home
175. You know I live a Magnum Lifestyle
176. Were you conceived on a sofa? Cause you are sofacking fine.
177. Are you a farmer? No, 'because you sure know how to raise a c*ck.
178. So hey you want to come to this Party? Yes ok then climb up my pant leg and HAVE A BALL.
179. F*** me if I'm wrong, but I think you want to kiss me...
180. Hey! Tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.
181. I know you haven't been studying, You must want the D
182. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
183. Hi, you can call me Spider-Man because I’ll shoot my white stuff all over you.
184. We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I'll poke you.
185. Baby, you're like a championship bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
186. I'm easy. Are you?
187. Is your dad a carnie carnival worker because I want you to sit on my face while I try to guess your weight.
188. My dick just died; can I bury it in your vagina?
189. Do you like dragons? Cause in a minute I'll be dragon my balls across your face
190. Twinkle twinkle little star; let’s have sex inside my car.
191. Hi, I’m a burglar... and I'm going to smash your back door in!
192. I hope you're not a vegetarian... because I want to feed you some meat!
193. I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
194. I own the best roller coaster in town, want to ride it?
195. Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.
196. Do you like Alphabet soup...Cause you are going to be choking on the D
197. Are you a cowgirl cause I can see you riding me
198. Want to tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?
199. Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!
200. If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put my dick in your ass!
201. They call me the Delivery Man, cause I always come in the back door
202. Nice shoes. Want to screw?
203. I would call Heaven and tell them an angel was missing, but I'm kind of hoping you're a slut!
204. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
205. Liquor is not the only hard thing around here.
206. Come in the house and take off your coat, open your mouth and let me coat the back of that throat!
207. Want to make like Scarface and say hello to my little friend.
208. Do you think I can fit that in my mouth? Want to try?
209. Are you a Jehovah's Witness? Cause I'm about to bend Jehovah and let you witness this dick.
210. Let’s play house...you can be the door so I can slam you all I want!
211. I heard you like Magic, well bend over and watch my dick disappear
212. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
213. Hey baby, I got the F, the C and the K. All I need now is U!
214. The word for tonight is legs. Let's go back to my place and spread the word?
215. You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
216. Is your name Little Red? Cause I could sure ride you in that hood!
217. Roses are red, violets are blue, we're having sex, cause I'm stronger than you
218. My guitar teacher says my fingering is good, especially on the G-string
219. Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
220. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?
221. When someone clears their throat: Do you have a frog in your throat? Want me instead?
222. Is your mom the lottery lady on TV, because I’m picturing you holding up my balls.
223. I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!
224. Hi. Are you cute?
225. Has any one ever told you your ass looks like a phone because I want to hit the pound button all day long.
226. Let's play lion and lion tamer. Open your mouth and I'll give you the meat.